A therapist I was chatting with this month said, “Sometimes we need someone else to tell us that we stink. We aren’t the best judge of that, are we?”
How true is that? I absolutely hate walking in the front door and being greeted by an awful smell. There are obvious places I check first — the kitchen sink and the bathroom. If those don’t reveal the culprit, then I really start deep cleaning like a crazy lady. The top thing I have learned about co-dependency is that I have been ignoring the smells in my life. I’ve been pretending that there isn’t a problem for several years; I am no longer the best judge of the source of the smell.
Blind Spot Check Results
If you have followed me at all, you know that I do one of these each year. 2020 was difficult for a lot of us for several different reasons. For me, it was the year that I came to understand my co-dependency. All the emotions the kids and I have stuffed over the years started to come out. While dealing with a lot of change, my writing dried up. Baby said it best in one of our discussions: “using my words makes me flat as a pancake.” Yep, the stink of bad decisions has caught up with me.
I’ve caught myself saying, “I’m fine” way too often. It’s not fine. I’m not fine. The kids aren’t fine. It’s time to be honest with myself. We are facing the stink head on and getting rid of it!
Theme Song for 2021
The 8 F’s
These are the areas I focus on in this Blog, so I needed to see from an outsider’s point of view what I am living well.
This tells me I need to put more focus on those areas that didn’t get a vote. As I look for books and write goals, those are the areas I will be focusing on first.
Joy
Last year’s survey said 25% of people didn’t see me show joy. I asked this year if that had changed.
Comments included how some of my changes have helped me relax, but I still take on too much and am way to stressed out. It was also mentioned in another question that I don’t take care of myself. The #1 way I don’t take care of myself — taking on too much. In the question about my biggest vice, taking responsibility for things I have no control over was brought up a few times.
Calling You to Action
I’m going to spend some time thinking and praying about the results of the survey so I can pick the best books and goals for 2021. The kids and I will be picking new words that will guide our year. We will set some family and individual goals.
What stinks in your life? What are you going to do in 2021 to change that?
I would love to hear some of your goals for the year — also known as resolutions. Do you pick a word for the year? If so, please share it with us! Need some direction in picking a word? Check out my post on that here.
I enjoyed reading your Blog! I’m sure you’ve read Beyond Codependency! It a great book. God bless you! Larry Reed
Thanks! Yes, it was actually the book that got me pointed towards Codependence and getting started in my own recovery program. I’m also using Pathways to Hope and Healing by Millie McCarty. Have you heard of that one?
It seems that some of us have to learn the hard way. But, once learned we know it cold. It is hard not to be in control, but sometimes we just have to trust that God knows what is best for us.
Trials make us stronger, it is just hard to get to that place sometimes. Having good family relationships and friends that we can depend on helps more than anything else.
Love you!
Seems like I have to do it the hard way a few times around 😉 I’m so thankful I’m not in control and God is. I’ve also come to realize that trials happen because of my refusal to let go of things (or people) I stubbornly cling to. Had I yielded my will, there wouldn’t have been so much trial.
I’m also thankful for friends and family who have been supportive, and who continue to extend support. I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without them!
Love you back!<3